A Quick Note on Change
One thing you should know about me is I’m uncomfortable without change. The cliche “get comfortable being uncomfortable” is something I firmly believe in. However, like most people, I struggle with finding the most effective way to overcome bad habits and build new habits that lead to change.
Something that has stuck with me lately is focusing on good qualities I want to build, rather than bad qualities I want to eliminate. Focusing on things I want to do rather than things I want to avoid has been powerful because avoiding things is very difficult. Often, when I am trying to avoid something, I fail because I don’t recognize I need to act, until it’s too late.
By focusing on what I want to do and build, I am giving myself control in the situation. I first look at the situation I want to change, recognize the trigger to signal to me act, and build the automatic action following the trigger. For example, if I want to stop drinking coffee after a certain time, I will look at 3 o’clock in the afternoon as the trigger to drink water instead.
This is a simple example, but it highlights the framework. I can strengthen this by adding a reward as well. I love Topo Chico. After 3 o’clock, rather than just filling up my water bottle, I can grab a Topo Chico and reward myself for building on the positive habit which strengthens the neural pathways and gives me the little dopamine boost to do it again next time.
The benefit of focusing on the positive growth quality rather than the negative elimination quality is that we are giving ourselves control by having something to replace the bad habit with rather than solely trying to eliminate it.
